Not all men
While the #MeToo movement took the world by storm and encouraged more women to come out with their experiences of sexual harassment; be it in their home environment, work place or during their trip to the grocery store, the number of women continuously being victims of sexual harassment have barely decreased in number. In fact, in 2018 an online survey conducted by a non-profit organisation, ‘Stop Street Harassment’ collected data that proved that a whopping 81 percent of women had experienced some sort of sexual harassment in their lifetime.
There’s a saying that goes,
“A man in a room full of women is ecstatic. A woman in a room full of men is terrified”
While not ALL men in that room are likely sexually harass you, the possibility of one of them being a sexual predator is enough to make a woman cautious of all the men in that room — it’s a simple case of fearing the unknown. I was 4 when my grandmother held me in her arms when a dog playfully tried to pounce on her and invariably, me. Ever since, I have had a fear towards dogs. I’m now 20 and between then and now, 16 years have passed. During which I have come across many adorable dogs; but that doesn’t stop a sense of panic arising within me when I see a large dog or when one comes running towards me. On the other hand, let’s talk about bees. It’s not uncommon to find someone with the fear of bees, despite the fact that they have probably never even been stung by one. You could say that they are afraid of the idea of being stung by a bee. When I was 13, I was stung by a bee that had fallen into the pool I was swimming in. However, I can very well say that my fear for bees existed before this happened.
Not all dogs are going to bite you and not all bees are going to sting you. In fact, only one in seventy-three people have been bitten by a dog and the chances of being stung by a bee are one in six million but the chances of a woman being raped is one in five. If someone says ‘dogs are scary’ it is understood that not all dogs are scary. The person may have simply had a bad experience with a dog in the past, making them afraid. In the same way when a woman says ‘men are scary’, it’s almost never a personal attack at that particular man. It is only an attack if he makes it one.
Systematic gender-based violence is upheld by each and every man who knowingly fails to intervene when such a case presents itself. Anyone who has been in a boy’s school locker room knows that it is common for boys to sexualize a women’s body or gossip about their sex lives. While not every boy in that locker room is actively making sexist, objectifying comments about women, those that laugh and stand around instead of intervening are still part of the problem. Therefore, we can come to the conclusion that systematic gender-based violence is upheld by every man who chooses to distance himself from the issue rather holding those engaging in such conversations around him accountable. It’s upheld by those that knew that their friend, brother or co-worker violated a woman but chose to dismiss it and look the other way because it was just “not their business”. Not all men are abusers but all men are responsible for doing better and keeping themselves and the other men they associate, in check; in order to make society a safer place for their mother, sister, partner or a loved one.
Refraining from harassing women does not make you a ‘good man’ — it means that you’re doing the bare minimum to be a decent human being.
